Currently Battling Virii with a Miniaturized Spaceship Piloted by an 80s Actor

The doctor's office called today to tell me the results of my physical. My cholesterol and blood pressure and all those sort of values are amazing, as would be expected. I am free from all STDs, life-threatening and embarrassing all. Doctor Song does, however, want to see me in two weeks because I have a very slightly low white blood cell count, which he surmises is from some viral infection. I told the nice lady on the phone that I did not see the point in coming back in that I cannot do anything about a viral infection anyways and I feel perfectly healthy right now.
When I told the doctor how much I drank (a rough estimate of 6 - 10 drinks per week), I was sternly informed that anything more than one drink per day is putting an unnecessary strain on my liver. As I laughed inside, I tried to look sufficiently chastised and reformed. Well nuts to you, Doctor Song---I feel fine and your tests confirm this. I even had a beer with lunch today.