The Same Life in a New Place

I live in Seattle, in the neighbordhood of Wallingford, in a spacious, airy studio with a great kitchen and wonderful light. I have no fulltime job---I am attempting to support myself as an independent contractor, as a web designer. There is little pressure in my daily life but I become antsy with the lack of consistent, paying work and hard deadlines. I am not entirely confident in the success of this stint (stunt). Alleviating much of my woe was the sale of our house in Claremont---I no longer have a mind-boggling mortgage or questionably-valued property but instead a nice little bump in my bank account.

I am six days away from the San Francisco Marathon, the goal for which I have trained for the last 17 weeks. In this pursuit, I have run over 550 miles, breaking week after week my personal record for longest distance run. My training this week is light so that my body can rest and store glycogen for the upcoming effort. My daily mileage is inconsequential and frustrating: I am constantly antsy and itching for longer runs. Scott gave me a great pep talk last night and I am optimistic about my time.

I will run below 3:20. I will run my second half faster than my first half. I will finish the last mile fast and strong. I will run a faster marathon than did Oprah and our (sigh) President and A.C. Slater.

Incidentally, Alan Turing was not just an egghead but a jock as well, completing the Leicestershire Marathon in 2:46:03. I need some way to calculate a nerdiness by running ability factor and see how I match up with other folks. I suppose Sir Roger Bannister was quite intelligent as well, what with breaking the four-minute mile barrier and then beating John Landy in the mile of the century within the same few months he passed the medical bar exam. What a stud. (The Perfect Mile is a great read.)

What comes next in this strange summer and joyous life? I head back east soon after the race to relax with my family on the lake in New Hampshire. I will return to Seattle and seriously assess the major issues in my life. First, for what race, or athletic goal, will I train? Second, how will I make a living?

Closely connected to both these questions is recent confusion regarding the general course of my life. I suspect that my current self-involvement will not prove emotionally sustainable. How can I reconcile, or possibly combine, my need for athletic challenges and desire for financial stability with the goal of becoming a better world citizen?

Hah! Who the hell knows! Regardless, I remain, for the most part, a happy boy.